Heineken Dark Lager

Heineken Dark Lager

Holland

28 IBU's

5.0% Alcohol

Now if you haven't tried regular Heineken, then you probably don't drink a lot of beer.  The regular is still one of the better macro beers out there, especially on a hot summer day.

So, what have we now?  

Ahh yes, a review of Heineken Dark Lager, something for a colder Fall or Winter day.  

Budweiser Project Twelve No. 91406

Budweiser Project Twelve

Batch No. 91406

Amber Lager

Anheuser-Busch

Los Angeles, CA

IBU's: ?

6.0% Alcohol

Here is another beer from the new Budweiser Project Twelve collection pack, this is a review of Budweiser Batch No. 91406.

Budweiser Project Twelve No. 23185

Budweiser Project Twelve

Batch No. 23185.

Amber Lager

Anheuser-Busch

Williamsburg, Virginia

IBU's: Unknown, but low.

5.5% Alcohol

Well, it's been a long time since I reviewed a Budweiser beer.  

Back when I started this website, I reviewed Bud Light Lime which was actually only my second review ever on here!  Talk about crazy!

Odell Double Pilsner

Odell Brewing Double Pilsner

IBU's: 40

Alcohol Content: 8.1%

This is the fourth beer from Odell Brewing that I have formally reviewed.  The others were their standard IPA, their Myrcenary IPA, and their signature 90 Shilling Ale.

It would be easy to say I have a love-hate relationship with Odell Brewing's beers.

Buck Range Light Beer

Buck Range Light

American Light Lager Beer

Genesee Brewing/Dundee Brewing

IBU's: Pretty Much None

Alcohol Content: 3.6%

Not too long ago I was getting a couple groceries and decided I would swing by the beer aisle to see if there was anything new or seasonal.  And what did I find?

Buck Range Light.

I looked at the 12 pack and thought, "Hey another cheap ass beer and it's only $6 a 12 pack!"  It seemed worth a try at that price, afterall I have paid more than twice that for an awesome single craft beer many a time.  At only $6 I was kind of thinking it might be malt liquor, actually.  And being geared toward hunters and outdoorsmen, that was totally possible.

I got home and opened one up.  Tasted it and thought, "Wow, this tastes like water.  Seriously, like... water."  I looked it up trying to figure out who made it and anything about it.  Turns out, this is a beer that is sold exclusively by a few grocery store chains owned by SUPERVALU including Alberstons, Jewel-Osco, Cub Foods, and Farm Fresh.  The breweries that make it, Genesee and Dundee Brewing companies, both don't list it on their websites.  

Can anyone say... embarrassed?  

Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that this beer is only 3.6% alcohol.  So not only is it watery, it has pretty much no alcohol.

  

But hey, at least the can is blue.

Buck Range Light pours an extremely light urine-colored yellow with a super thin fading head and smells of only hints of light malts and a vague skunkiness.  It tastes, as I said before, incredibly watery with hints of typical American light lager flavors, vague light malts, and tap water (think 50% water, 50% Bud Light).  It has pretty much no aftertaste and is so over-carbonated you'll be burping and feeling full of air for quite some time.

I know a guy who supposedly drank 18 of these in one night and didn't get a buzz.  

And I believe it.

Drink This: if you can find it on sale for $2 a 12 pack and don't mind watery, weak ass beer.

Don't Drink This: if you can find any other beer. 

          

Olympia Beer

Olympia Beer

American Adjunct Lager

Pabst Brewing Co.

IBU's: Very low (?)

Alcohol: 4.78%

Firstly, check out my sweet picture of that Olympia can!  I feel I may have taken the best picture of Olympia beer ever.  

It even has some dents in the can.  

Classic.

One year my younger brother (also written about in my Olde English review here) went to the Mountain Brewer's Beer Fest (I wrote about my experience here).  

Now this isn't just a normal small city beer fest, this is a MASSIVE Western American beer festival.  I'm talking 140+ breweries, 1200+ beers, and thousands and thousands of people.  

You know what that means?  

More delicious craft beer than you could safely taste in a week without ending up passed out in the gutter, pants around your ankles.

My brother goes to this beer festival and I'm really not sure why.  He's not exactly into craft beer.  Or beer with hops.  Or flavor.  Or any sort of character.  Unless you think "watery" is a desirable trait.  Anyway, he goes to this event and immediately gravitates toward the most polar opposite stand from what the festival is intended for... Olympia.  

That's right, he goes to a craft beer festival with 1200+ beers and drinks Olympia.  Granted, there was no line at the Olympia stand there so he could drink sample after sample.  But seriously, Oly?

I don't get it.  I bet he didn't even get half of his money's worth for what his ticket cost.  And Olympia costs less than water, soda, and just about any drink you can buy.  It's honestly like 30 cents a can.

Okay, a little back story.  Olympia was originally brewed in Tumwater, Washington on the Deschutes River starting in 1896, making it truly oldschool.  There was an 18 year period (during statewide and national Prohibition) where the beer was obviously not being made.  Their famous "It's the Water" slogan started in 1902, referring to the artesian water drawn from near the Deschutes River.  Many whisky producers claim that water influences the taste of their product, so I guess it could also influence a watery ass beer (water being the key here).  UNFORTUNATELY, starting in 2003 Pabst commissioned MillerCoors to brew their Olympia beer in Irwindale, California.  And despite the move to California, they still use the same slogan, but now the slogan is bullshit.  That's right, bullshit.  You can't use the same slogan, referring to artesian well water from near the Deschutes River, but make it with crappy tap water in California.

So, despite how crappy Olympia beer now tastes, I have a hope that it used to be better when it was brewed with artesian well water in Washington.  I'm probably wrong and it's always been awful, but I can have my fantasies.

Olympia Beer pours a super light, weedy straw color and smells fairly mild and of sweet grains.  It tastes as you'd expect for an oldschool American beer, light sweet malts, dank musty corn, and water.  It's fizzy and light, like most mass produced, oldschool American style brews with hops pretty much nonexistent.  

This is almost as close to water as beer gets, which is why it pisses me off that they changed the water source to crappy California tap water instead of fancy artesian well water from Washington.  

Well, whatever.  I don't care that much.  It's just Oly for hell's sake.

Drink This: if you want a taste of oldschool American beer.  This is the stereotypical old man beer.  And at less than 50 cents a can, who can argue with what a bargain it is.

Don't Drink This:  if you want beer with flavors other than water, water, more water, and a hint of musty, old corn and malt.

Cheers!       

 

 

Heineken

Heineken

Pale Lager

Origin: Holland

Alcohol: 5%

Calories: Who Cares?

Okay, let's make this short and sweet.  

You're probably asking why I'm reviewing Heineken when the majority of drinks I review are either new and/or random. Well, Heineken holds a special place in my heart for being both incredibly refreshing and incredibly bad at the same time.  I can never tell how it's going to hit my taste buds.  Sometimes I drink a nice, ice cold Heineken and it's perfectly thirst-quenching.  Other times I drink a Heineken and think, "What the Hell is this skunky shit?!"  Pardon my French and stuff... it's just how I feel.  When I drink a Heineken I either love it or hate it, there is no in between.  I really don't get it.  It's the only drink I've had that's like that, and believe me, I've had a lot of different drinks.

So, to describe Heineken we have the usual macro-beer suspects: it pours a clear, light straw color with an inch or so thick head that stays for a fair bit of time.  Granted, many of you probably just drink it straight from the bottle.  Fair enough, it's not like pouring Heineken into a glass is going to enhance it that much.  This isn't some fancy craft beer brewed with the resin of the single mummified hop found in Pharaoh Tittychewbacca's tomb, where the hidden flavor molecules are important... this is Heineken.  It smells like skunky, sweet malts and generic grain, like so many macro lager beers, especially those that come in green bottles (*Nerd Fact: Light changes the flavor of alcoholic beverages over time, faster in light green and clear bottles than brown).  Heineken tastes a lot how you'd expect: sweet, creamy malts, the usual pale lager airiness, and a skunky and sour bit of mild, grassy hops.

As far as macro lager beer goes, this isn't that bad.  I'd take this any day over Bud Light, Coors, or Miller.  However, it's still dreadfully boring.   But like I said earlier, sometimes it is surprisingly crisp and refreshing, other times the skunkiness is too much to handle.

Drink This: if you've never tried it.  One of the better macro beers, but still lacking compared to just about any craft beer.  But at least it comes in those little mini kegs.

Don't Drink This: if you're looking for something with depth and interesting flavor.  Go look elsewhere.  This is more of a session beer or a beer for hot weather.  Like I've said a couple times, I'm always really torn on Heineken... love it or hate it.

Cheers!